This really says it all!
William Tell Overture for Moms @ Yahoo! Video
I lied........All that mushy sentimental crap I wrote yesterday, just roll it all into a ball and throw it out the window. Wh
en you wake up tomorrow, first thing in the morning go into your kids room and ground them. Of course, they will open their eyes and wonder what they did to deserve that and the answer is nothing. Just ground them for all the stuff they are going to do during the day to make you lose what little of your mind you have left.
It is almost midnight and I feel a strong urge to consume my body weight in Merlot and chocolate. Here is the kind of day it has been
-it took me until 11 to take my kids to the play park that starts at 8:30
-I ran to get groceries with just the baby (which is such a treat because their are no fights in the cereal aisle or broken eggs or unexpected trips to the bathroom which is all the way in the restaurant where you send your five year old alone so you don't lose your place in line and just when you think he is never coming back you go check and he is taking a poop which to him means you have to take off every bit of your clothes even your socks kind of like Geroge Castanza) and there are only two tills open so I pick the one I think is going to be shorter and after at least two or three minutes the lady says to me I am closing for my break and in the meantime six other people have lined up in the other lane. It is five to twelve and I need to be at the park before the play park program is done so I have to leave the groceries drive to the park and drag three kids back into the store and get in line again.
It was the kind of day where the kids ate popcorn for supper, the dog is in heat, the kid on the front stairs in "time out" dumped a bag of garbage and threw a load of folded laundry over the railing.....twice. the twelve year old called me "mean" about 62 times , and I am sorry and I love you the same amount.
A day where the baby woke up at 7 am went to bed at 10 pm and only napped for 30 minutes total and in the car seat so when you go to pick her up and put her in her bed for her nap she wakes up.
It was the kind of day that if the dentist called to say I had a root canal, I'd say, "give me a double!" Just for some peace and quiet....and the drugs.
A day where another mom took the time to listen to my insanity and it made me feel better!
A day when I showed up at the pool when there was five minutes left in family swimming so I had to wait on the lawn until public swimming.
When we finally got in the pool I saw young couples without kids and I thought to myself, "why are you voluntarily here?" run far away to a movie you can watch from the start to finish without a million questions and five trips to the bathroom, go have supper somewhere there are no crayons at the table and you don't have to cut anyones meat, just get out while you can!
I saw moms at the pool, you know the moms I mean that at almost eight at night are spraying sunscreen on their kids to the extent that a cloud formed around them and for a moment I lost sight of the poor creature when finally she came up for air spitting out the excess. I thought to myself, "Did I remember to put sunscreen on these kids?" I think I vaguely remember grabbing something from the counter and spraying it on them. Dear God I hope it wasn't "Pam" cooking spray. I did notice that the boys came flying out of the plastic slide at quite a speed.
When you are sitting on a bench at the pool in a maternity bathing suit even though you haven't been pregnant in over eight months breastfeeding the baby under a wet towel and she decides to try out her new teeth you know it is time to go home.
On these kind of days really your best option is to go to the swimming pool because that way if your face is already wet from the water and your eyes are red from the chlorine you can just sit quietly in the corner and have a good cry and then start over tomorrow.
Today I ask myself is the glass half empty or half full and you know I really don't care as long as what is in the glass is red wine.
Don't worry he was fine after some Visine and Tylenol. He still loves me. I looked just about the same just picture longer hair and a baby attached to me .