Thursday, March 10, 2011

The quest for the After......

I have the urge to buy myself gigantic pants.  I want to go to a store and buy the biggest pants I can find so that I could take a picture of myself holding them in front of me and the drop them down to reveal a slimmer me with a big smile.  The contestants on Biggest Loser go through months of torturous hours at the gym and a regimented diet of eating yams and broiled chicken breasts for that one shinning moment when they, "drop the pants".  So I figure instead of making a resolution this year and trying to lose 20 or 30 pounds I will just buy big pants.  

Every January I decide ok I'm going to get with the program and I take an unflattering "Before Picture" and then plan to lose 40 pounds by shorts season. This year I even had Lyris measure every inch of my flabby white flesh so I would have the measurements to prove how much I improve.  It has finally dawned on me that I am desperately chasing something or someone from the past.  I am the "After" not the Before.  This is my body after almost 40 years on this planet.  This is my body after incubating 5 pregnancies, delivering drug free five healthy babies and then breastfeeding for almost 5 years in total.  This is my body after 10 years of marriage and countless date nights with my chef husband, bottles of red wine with my friends, 37 birthday parties for my five children that included pop, chips, hotdogs and cake.  This is my body 21 years after I have graduated high school yet I still wish I could weigh what I weighed in High School when I thought I was fat?  This is me 17 years after I was in University Playing Cougar Volleyball with Lyris when our coach would line us up in the locker room and record our weight and let us know if she thought it was too much.  I will never be the before, I can't go back. 

 I wan't to be healthy and look good but I think I need to view my weight as a marathon rather than a sprint.  I know almost every mom out there is struggling with the way they look or feel.  So if you are running or even walking the same marathon, welcome to the club and remember you are already the "After".  

Another mom, business owner, blogger who can relate is Andrea. She calls herself The Chunky Monkey  She is blogging about her journey to a better body and a better self image with the help of her personal trainer Lyris. Here is the video of Andrea getting measured by Lryis.  Even though we may be heading in the same direction she walks the straight and narrow path, while I am out in the field rolling in the daisies!  

Here is a picture from the wedding show I ran where 160 people are staring at Andrea's butt while she gets a spray tan.  Click Here to see the video yourself.

And have you ever had bathing suit anxiety?  Here is Andrea talking about being in a bathing suit.  I decided Jan 2nd to go bathing suit shopping where I discovered that I ate so many perogies at Ukranian Christmas that I started to look like one.  White and Doughy!  But I know being in the swim club will be good for me so off I go to the pool.  

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