A Christmas Wreath Doesn't Smell Like Beef- Or does it?

The house is finally quiet. My mom's house that is. Christmas holidays are supposed to be a time to re-energize, re-connect with friends and family and spend quality time with your darling children. Right now all I can think about is how much longer until it is over.

In the past two weeks I have consumed enough calories to sustain an entire football team and I have done exactly six minutes of exercise at the local skating rink. Which will inevitably lead to New Year depression and a early January meltdown including gym memberships and Weight Watchers.

Four of the five children puked the week of Christmas, two of them at their Grandparent's house. One in the middle of Christmas Eve on the living room rug during a festive game of "telephone" where one person whispers a message and then they whisper to the next person. The special Christmas message my niece came up with was " A Christmas wreath doesn't smell like beef". She was literally mid whisper with Kelsey when in the middle of 18 people and to my complete dismay he barfed up what can only be described as a Christmas eve concoction of lasagna, birthday cake, chocolate milk and half of the goodie table. Maybe if I had the forethought to have video taped the event I would be $10 000.00 richer but unfortunately the only evidence I have is this picture of my husband steam cleaning the carpet. Somehow even when he is cleaning up puke I still think he is cute.

Their poor rug! Some day I will tell you the story about how I melted their brand new linoleum. All this and they still love me and our family! I am pretty lucky to have such great in laws.

Not only do we have the stress of packing up seven puking fighting people into two vehicles, with a dog, and a million presents the roads were also the worst I have ever had to drive on. I felt like I was in labour for most of the four hour drive. I was using my Lamaze breathing down icy hills, through drifting, swirling snow in the passing lane that was four feet deep, behind white semi trailers who wanted desperately to pass me even though I pleaded "please don't pass, please don't pass". We stopped half way for a lunch break and it took us 45 minutes just to drive through the city. I was so glad to for the break in driving but all I could think after we ate a $65 lunch was that no one better puke up that expensive of a lunch.

I am pretty sure that it was a marriage saver that we were travelling in two separate vehicles and our only means of communication was through texting. (We are lucky to have two kids old enough to spell because then we can dictate what they should text to the other.)

Here are some of the comments during the drive ( i counted there were 174 messages during our six hour trip some of which involved Levi and Olivia calling each other "baby" over and over)

C-Wow there is a lot of snow

P-Two wheel drive and cruise at 110

C-Holy Crap should we wait for the snowplows

P-No that's fine just be patient

P-Keep up please

C-Slow down it's not a race

P- I am slowing down it's going to be good and bad all day depending what direction we go Setting Cruise at 110

C- OK Captain Kirk

C- See that? (a semi in the ditch)

P- Yeah nice! I would like to get around these guys because it is dangerous. If it clears up I'm probably going to pass

C- Or we can go even slower. Don't go your gonna end up in the ditch

P Go now it's clear

C- Mom says don't boss me

P- Tell her to relax

C-Mom needs a smoke for some reason (I don't even smoke)

There are about 100 more texts like that but I realize reading them now it sounds exactly like when we are in the same vehicle, me telling him to slow down and him telling me to relax it will all be fine. He is my rock!

I am trying really hard to appreciate everything in my life. To love spending time with my nieces and nephews that seem to grow a foot between visits. To make the time to enjoy being with my children but why is it so hard? Pat's mom and dad and my mom did so much work to get ready for the holidays. The open their arms to us puke, chaos and all. When my kids look back on this Christmas will they remember the puking, bad roads, and majorly frazzled mother? I hope what they remember will be all the love they have and that "A Christmas wreath doesn't smell like Beef!"

What's your Christmas holiday experience? Does your travelling go smoothly or is it just me?