Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Supermarket Slalom

Any mother who has taken small children to a grocery store knows that it should qualify for an Olympic sport. The skill and precision it takes to navigate aisles of candy, chips and pop that are strategically placed at the eye level of a three year old is equal to that of a slalom skier. One of the keys to a successful run is to place as many children as possible in the basket of the shopping cart and then keep your path to the middle of the aisle as to avoid any unplanned cookie grabs or the dreaded display topple which will cause a serious time penalty and dirty looks from the many spectators.

An amateur to the sport of the supermarket slalom may fall into the use candy to keep the kids quiet, but a word to the wise, what seems like a solution will end up causing more grief in the end. Much like Olympic athletes that try to cheat the system with steroids and doping you will regret this decision in the end when at the checkout your children are hopped up on sugar and tear the magazines from the stands and use them as hats, weapons or worst of all facial tissues for chocolate covered mouths and runny noses.

Take it from a mother of five who has spent many years in training, if you want to get the gold medal and stand proudly atop the checkout podium with all your eggs and your sanity in tact take the next four years preparing for that one run and you should have it made. And remember the whole thing is downhill from the start.

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