Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Mom Camp

Why is it that we send our kids to summer camp? For ten months of the year kids get up early get on the bus and head off to school. We drive them to hockey, soccer, ball, music lessons, karate...... The minute summer rolls around we search high and low to find the best sports camp, bible camp, art, music, dance camp we can find. Do you know who is the one who really needs a camp? The moms. We need a mom camp. When is the last time you thought of an activity that you wanted to sign yourself up for and did it? Been a while hasn't it.

Here is my proposal for mom camp.

Camp Rules

No kids allowed at mom camp.

No calls from kids looking for an extra ten bucks for the movies or where is the memory card for my PSP or any other random and completely annoying phone calls.

At Mom camp it is lights out at 1 am or one bottle of red wine whichever comes first.

No husbands allowed at Mom camp.

No calls from husbands looking for diapers or clean underwear or the dog's leash.

Dress code includes robes, slippers and absolutely no "Spanx" allowed.

No blackberrys, texting, emailing, blogging, billpaying or balancing your check book at mom camp.

No clocks or watches allowed.

No tattling.

Camp Itinerary

Get up whenever you feel like it or sleep until noon.

Eat whatever you feel like. Chocolate chips are a completely acceptable breakfast... lunch or supper for that matter.

Long strolls with no place to go and no particular time to be there.

Books are available that aren't on any book club list, don't tell you secrets to weight loss or how to raise a happy child or start your own business or how to make your own organic baby food. All literature is completely indulgent and will not make you a better person!

At any time during the day you can have an adult conversation without someone tugging on your sleeve and saying " Mom can we go." "Mom can I eat this" "Mom what's for supper" "Mom, Mom, MOM"

On movie night there will be nothing exploding, no guns, no talking dogs, no pop stars in disguise. Only Fried Green Tomatoes, Terms of Endearment, The Women, Joy Luck Club and other such features our husbands and children would rather lick sandpaper than watch.

So what do you say are you with me. Let's put an end to a week in the rink in July and put a big red circle around one week in the summer for ourselves and go to "Mom Camp"

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