That is the letter I wrote this morning to my muffin top.
Now that summer is over and the kids are back in school I want to focus on my fitness and health and maybe wear a pair of pants with a button. I weighed in at the gym on Tuesday and it is the most I have ever weighed, even when I was housing another human being. I had a great work out and went home and found a yoga class on line! It was my first ever yoga class. I have all the clothes and last year I even bought a mat in preparation for all the classes I was going to attend. I quit my volleyball team so that I could go to yoga and go to weight watchers and I didn't make it to one class. Here are the the things I learned from my online yoga class.
1. If you get close enough to my carpet you can smell feet and dog.
2. If your yoga class is on YouTube and not in real life you can actually swear at your instructor. I think I said the F word 4 times in 20 minutes.
3. You only have to do 20 minutes of a 40 minute class.
and the most important thing I learned was that..
4. I have been ignoring my muffin top.
I don't know the real name for this pose but I think it should be renamed, "Meet your Muffin Top" Pose.
So here it is that life changing "aha" moment when after 2 years of ignoring my muffin top I came face to face with it. I realized people who do yoga aren't thin from the exercise it is from being in positions where you come so close to your flab makes you lose your appetite. This is how I am going to eat Timbits from now on.
I have decided to name my Muffin Top. Her name is Martha and I may even wear a name tag and introduce her at parties! Oh have you met Martha? How rude of me I haven't introduced her!
lady; mistress of the house". . She is patron saint of the helping professions. That sounds about right.