Friday, September 9, 2011

Meet Martha!

I am writing this letter to apologize for the way I have been treating you lately.  For almost two years I have ignored you, pretended you don't exist and I have even talked bad about you when you were right there.  I can hardly bring myself to look at you let alone touch you....  Please forgive me. 

That is the letter I wrote this morning to my muffin top.

Now that summer is over and the kids are back in school I want to focus on my fitness and health and maybe wear a pair of pants with a button.  I weighed in at the gym on Tuesday and it is the most I have ever weighed, even when I was housing another human being.  I had a great work out and went home and found a yoga class on line!  It was my first ever yoga class.  I have all the clothes and last year I even bought a mat in preparation for all the classes I was going to attend.  I quit my volleyball team so that I could go to yoga and go to weight watchers and I didn't make it to one class.  Here are the the things I learned from my online yoga class.

1.  If you get close enough to my carpet you can smell feet and dog.
2.  If your yoga class is on YouTube and not in real life you can actually swear at your instructor.  I think I said the F word 4 times in 20 minutes.
3. You only have to do 20 minutes of a 40 minute class.
and the most important thing I learned was that..
4. I have been ignoring my muffin top.

I don't know the real name for this pose but I think it should be renamed, "Meet your Muffin Top" Pose.

So here it is that life changing "aha" moment when after 2 years of ignoring my muffin top I came face to face with it.  I realized people who do yoga aren't thin from the exercise it is from being in positions where you come so close to your flab makes you lose your appetite.  This is how I am going to eat Timbits from now on. 

 I have great new mirrors that I can only see to just under my ribs so I didn't know the muffin top was growing.  It is like a misbehaving toddler if you just pay attention to it for a few minutes a day then in the long run everyone is happier. 
 Wearing yoga pants and skirts and dresses all summer hasn't helped either.  I can't remember the last time I wore something with a zipper or a button. 

 So like Dr. Phil says, "How's that working for you?"  It isn't I am going to quit ignoring my Muffin Top. I am going to do more than just acknowledge it's presence.  I am going to treat it with love.  After all there have been humans living inside there.  For a whole nine months I hugged and rubbed my stomach, I had strangers want to touch it and talk to it.  My stomach all by itself grew people that's amazing.

I have decided to name my Muffin Top.  Her name is Martha and I may even wear a name tag and introduce her at parties!  Oh have you met Martha?  How rude of me I haven't introduced her! 
Show Martha some love.  I looked up the meaning of Martha is "lady; mistress of the house". . She is patron saint of the helping professions.  That sounds about right. 

I will try to remember that I have daughters that I am a role model for and not hate a part of my body!!
Like any good friend Martha and I will go for dates now and then. 
And also like any good friend I will want what is best and if Muffin top Martha turns into Six Pax Sally that would be ok too!!
So what would you name your muffin top???????

1 comment:

Louise in SW Saskatchewan said...

oh Corla! Thanks for the giggles as I read this post about Martha. What a great way to approach getting your shape back. I like the idea of online Yoga classes - then you can go when convenient for your own schedule!